Quirky Infinity logo Empowering neurodivergent people through understanding and conversation

More Than Quirky

Empowering neurodivergent people through understanding and conversation

More Than Quirky logo with Infinity symbol blending with the Q

Quirky Infinity logo Empowering neurodivergent people through understanding and conversation

A playground with no children

Social Stories

As the parent of an autistic child, all the biggest events that occur in relation to our favourite support networks involve social stories.

At the end of the school year in 2022, we received a social story outlining who would be teaching her grade the next year, that her peers would remain the same, that her classroom would change, that the Principal would be the same, that there would be some new teachers on staff, etc. We revisited it a few times over the summer holidays, and the week before the 2023 school year began, my daughter took it down from where it was pinned, and told me her thoughts on each section, asked a few questions, then folded it up and put it away. She was ready for school.

The always-incredible Yellow Ladybugs provide a detailed social story for each event they host, whether it’s online or in person. It was only this week, preparing to attend a YLB event in person with my daughter, that I realised how much I benefited from their social stories myself, as an autistic adult. I tend to plan ahead in reasonable detail: the travel plans and timings, what to pack, where we can eat allergy-safe foods, intervals throughout the day where toilets can be accessed, etc… but instead of planning as far out as usual, I realised that simply the knowledge that a YLB social story existed meant I didn’t throw together those plans until the night before. I could trust that most of the things I needed to know would be right there.

And my daughter read over the story, recapped the exciting parts to her sisters, and had no further questions aside from a brief, unstressed, “What time is our train?”

(For what it’s worth, we had an amazing time!)

Why Social Stories?

So what’s a social story? Social stories were developed by teacher, Carol Gray, as a means of communicating details to autistic people that many neurotypical people assumed, or garnered through other means. Effectively spelling out information in a way that left little room for error in interpretation.

An incident that inspired the creation of these stories involved an autistic student who she had carefully taught the norms of conversation: you take turns, you don’t interrupt, you make sure you respond, etc. This same student then kept getting in trouble for calling out during school assemblies. She would remind him not to interrupt, he’d agree… and then he’d do it again. Eventually she sat down with video footage of an assembly, including his interruptions, and spoke to him about it. He saw success: he was following the norms of conversation with the person at the front of the assembly! They spoke, he answered!

Carol Gray realised that the difference in context wasn’t something this child was able to discern without being clearly delivered specific information. Did he have the skill set to not interrupt? Yes! He’d already applied that to conversations. Did he understand that assemblies were different to a chat with a teacher in a classroom? No.

Enter social stories.

So What is a Social Story?

Every social story is based on 5 clear philosophies, and 10 defining criteria.

The five philosophies are:

  1. Abandon all assumptions, and favour gathering accurate information.
  2. Recognise that any perceived social impairment is a two way street. It is not an autistic person with an impairment, but a impairment of the interaction between those attempting to engage.
  3. Believe that “everyone is right”, in that the perspectives of allistic and autistic people can be different, but are equally valid.
  4. Never argue perception, as all perspectives are of equal value.
  5. “Curiosity is confusion with a good attitude”: there is always more to know, more to understand, and more solutions to try.

The 10 defining criteria are:

  1. A clear goal.
  2. Gather information to improve understanding of the audience, and identify the topic and critical information.
  3. A title, introduction identifying the topic, a body containing detail, and a concluding summary.
  4. Tailored to the abilities, needs, and style of the audience.
  5. A patient and supportive tone, and vocabulary defined by elements specific to social stories.
  6. Covers where, when, who, what, how and why.
  7. Contain descriptive sentences, and possibly one or more coaching sentences.
  8. The specific Social StoryTM Formula to ensure description over direction.
  9. Drafts are reviewed by relevant parties, and revised to meet all criteria.
  10. It is introduced and reviewed by the audience following 10 guides.

You can find more details about these here: https://carolgraysocialstories.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Social-Stories-10.2-Criteria.pdf 

At least 50% of all Social Stories applaud achievements

Carol Grey

Benefits of Social Stories

There are many benefits to using social stories to communicate with autistic people.

Social stories reduce anxiety, fear, and generalised “can’t” in autistic people. This allows them to approach a greater number of events and situations with confidence, and, more importantly, allow them to approach more in total. There is less incidence of avoidance or refusal.

They prevent a significant number misunderstandings and miscommunications, which reduces conflict, mistakes, damage to self-esteem, emotional dysregulation, meltdowns, and more.

The neuroaffirming approach of being descriptive over directive reduces likelihood of PDA and RSD.

It leads to conversation, engagement, and gives both parties the opportunity to be curious and communicative.

Using Social Stories 

You can find out more about social stories at https://carolgraysocialstories.com/.

Encourage your child’s school to adopt the practice if they haven’t already, and consider attempting them yourself at home for major events, or tricky situations. Everything can be covered from brushing teeth, to a grandparent dying. They don’t just have to be saved for milestones like starting school, or shopping independently.

If you want to see a great example, there are many online; or you could join in a Yellow Ladybugs event and see just how magic they can be!

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