Quirky Infinity logo Empowering neurodivergent people through understanding and conversation

More Than Quirky

Empowering neurodivergent people through understanding and conversation

More Than Quirky logo with Infinity symbol blending with the Q

Quirky Infinity logo Empowering neurodivergent people through understanding and conversation

A hand holding a pen, writing a letter

Dear Small Friend …

I like to establish a foundation with new clients, especially when I’m working with their parents and not directly with the child. This particular kiddo is not confirmed as neurodivergent, is very academically capable, and is being bossed around by anxiety at the moment. When I am supporting her I feel it is important that am not her therapist, her teacher, her mum’s mate; I am her friend. This is a letter sent to a young friend, with her first social story in anticipation of an event (some items redacted for privacy)…

Dear ,

Hello! My name is Jen. You might have seen me at ⬛⬛⬛ before. ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛

You’re always welcome to say hi or wave if you ever want to.

I have a really awesome job! I get to help kids understand their brains and feelings, and to help parents understand their kids. Most of the time it means writing stories, drawing pictures, and talking to really amazing kids and grown ups. Pretty fun!

I do this job because my brain works differently to a lot of other people’s. I am autistic ADHD, which means I understand and feel things a bit differently. That could be information from a book, or even something like the weather or how something tastes.

I think the world would be really boring if everyone had the same kind of brain. I do things for my friends that no-one else can, and they do things for me that I can’t do for myself. Different is interesting!

Sometimes when we have brains that work a bit differently, especially when they are also clever brains, we can have really big feelings that seem to take over our whole bodies. This isn’t much fun, but it’s really normal, and there are lots of things we can do to make the tricky bits less upsetting.

One of the things I like to give kids is something called a Social Story.

Social stories let our brains stop worrying about not knowing what’s ahead or what is expected of us. Social stories answer a lot of the questions we might have about an event without us even needing to ask them. 

If we use social stories, we can let go of a lot of our fears and anxieties. That leaves a lot more room in our brains and bodies for happiness, excitement, fun, enjoyment, and relaxing!

That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be worried, or still have questions. Share with your family and teacher if you’re nervous, or if something makes you feel bad, so they can help if you can’t shake off those feelings by yourself.

Most grown ups create mini social stories for themselves all the time and don’t even realise. They might:

  • Look up how bad traffic is going to be, even if they don’t have a different way of getting there or a time limit
  • Check out menus online before they go out to eat so they aren’t overwhelmed by choices when they get there, and so they can get excited about what they’re planning to have!
  • Plan out an activity in more detail than they need to, so they don’t worry about missing any steps
  • Call a friend they’re going to a party with and say “What are you going to wear?” so they don’t worry they’ve chosen the wrong sort of clothes

There are lots of ways you can use a social story. 

  • You might want to read it to yourself so you can reread any parts that you have been worrying about until they feel clear
  • You could read it with ⬛⬛ or ⬛⬛, or have them read it to you, and you can ask questions
  • You could draw on it and put some stars next to the bits that sound the most fun! You can also add any extra details you know about that will help you feel calm, like what you’re thinking of packing for lunch
  • You can bring it with you to ⬛⬛⬛ if you want to be able to check what’s happening next

It is entirely up to you how you use it!

If this Social Story helps you, please ask ⬛⬛ ⬛⬛ or ⬛⬛ if you ever want one for anything else. I am always happy to be your helper and make one for you.

I hope you have a really lovely day on ⬛⬛⬛⬛. When you get home, drink lots of water and see if you can find some time to relax; big days take a lot of energy even if we aren’t running around.

Your friend,
Jen

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