When You Just Can’t: Task Paralysis
Task paralysis is incredibly annoying. For everyone involved. There are many theories as to why it happens, or what it means, but the reality of it is simply an extreme case of involuntary procrastination and avoidance of a task.
Task Paralysis is a common form of ADHD Paralysis, and one I struggle with massively. Evidently. Let me begin by sharing with you the irony of finding myself facing task paralysis when wanting to write an article on task paralysis.
Instead of sitting down and writing, I:
- Changed into my comfiest outfit (French terry pyjama pants, in case you were wondering)
- Drank a double shot coffee despite knowing it’s only a matter of hours before bed
- Put on a TV series I’m vaguely watching because I know I can’t do anything without background noise (unless I’m feeling overwhelmed and everything must be absolutely silent), then started actively watching it for once
- Talked to my cats
- Contemplated doing a digital colouring page
- Sent multiple Instagram messages to a friend
- And, of course, had a little daydream about what this article is meant to feel like rather than what it needs to cover, or, you know, writing it
- Full disclosure: I then closed this, wrote multiple other articles, and am now returning to it after a couple of weeks. Yes, weeks.
Task paralysis is not only triggered by tasks of significance, but can be in relation to activities as simple as washing a sink full of dishes, or folding laundry.
You can even want to do a task, and still encounter task paralysis.
Why Does It Happen?
There is a lot of material out there which suggests task paralysis is due to waiting for perfect conditions or timing before starting, or that it is a fear of not producing perfect output which prevents any attempt. I can attest to the fact that for me, and many others, it is not nearly as conscious as this.
Other studies indicate that task paralysis is a gentle expression of self-inflicted Pathological Demand Avoidance, which I feel is probably more on the money as this is significantly more of a reflex, and less of a conscious procrastination. For me, task paralysis often is accompanied by aching limbs; it’s an experience, not a conscious dislike or decision to avoid.
What Not To Do
Don’t wait for inspiration to strike. Don’t hate yourself for procrastinating. Don’t think you’re a failure before you’ve even begun. Don’t get bogged down focusing on the task paralysis rather than the task.
Don’t tell someone with task paralysis that it’s not that hard. Don’t physically force them. Don’t put them down. Don’t patronise or mock. Don’t demonstrate how straightforward it is. Don’t ever say “Just do it.”
What Can You Do?
As a parent or carer of a neurodivergent person struggling with task paralysis, asking if there’s anything that they can think of that would assist is always the ideal starting point. Brainstorming ideas together, cooperating on a chore, letting them ramble to you about any conscious hesitations, or suggesting a “now/then”. For example, “Let’s have a snack now, then I’ll help you start your homework.” It can also help, with people more aware of their own complications, to acknowledge that task paralysis might be at play, and how frustrating and difficult that is.
What To Do For Yourself
As a person suffering from task paralysis, there are a number of ways to ease yourself through it, including:
- Set yourself a reward. “I’m not turning on the TV until the dishwasher is unpacked.” This does require a level of self-control, however, that is not always attainable.
- My daughter loves the Desmond Tutu phrase, “There is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time.” Tackling things in smaller tasks can lead to the entire task being done, and at worst a small part of it completed. This works well for jobs like washing up. Agreeing with yourself to wash up one item seems far more doable than an entire sink. Once you’re there, you might handle one more, or five more, or you might end up finishing the job. If not, you can do just one item a number of times until it’s eventually done.
- There’s a phrase that my autistic brain dislikes, but loves the ethos of: “Done is better than perfect.”* Just start. If you’re meant to be writing an assignment, just hammer out some vague ideas, hit save, and walk away. If you’re supposed to be folding the laundry, sit on the floor with the washing and sort it by category. If you’re supposed to be brushing your teeth, do a 5 second job. Sometimes the task paralysis will fade away once you start the task, and you’ll end up doing a reasonable job of it. Other times, well, at least it’s done.
- Make the task more fun by increasing novelty value, or adding a dopamine hit by playing music. Adding snacks, adjusting sensory input, or changing your usual methodology can also help.
And if all else fails, there’s delegation and asking for help.
There’s always room to ask for help.
*It’s obvious why this is a bad phrase for a number of reasons, right? Or is it just me?