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There are countless misunderstandings surrounding neurodivergence, including around behaviours and intentions, especially in children.
As a neurodivergent person raising neurodivergent children, I find myself repeatedly engaging in long, heartfelt conversations with parents. Lost parents. Confused parents. Well-intentioned, loving, kind parents who don’t know what to do next. I see undiagnosed kids struggling, and children who have been diagnosed with one neurodivergence whose parents haven’t been informed about possible – even likely! – comorbidities.
Parents who know their kids are autistic, who haven’t had anyone explain why their child finds it hard to get ready for school in the morning, beyond “they’re autistic”. Who haven’t been told how often these kids suffer from manageable and treatable anxiety. Who don’t realise that the tests used for autism don’t flag all neurodivergencies, and that the initial result isn’t even always the correct answer. Who aren’t being assisted to understand their own children.
Parents with children with ADHD who aren’t told about RSD, or CAPD, or PDA, but are only sent down a path of getting medication levels to their most effective, rather than using these meds alongside other beneficial options or skipping medication altogether if of benefit. Parents who don’t know there are so many simple things they can put into practice at home to ease the remaining complications.
I, personally, spent years flagging my daughter’s needs and differences with GPs, being referred to paediatricians who apparently weren’t adequately aware of “girl autism” (or didn’t care; I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt by assuming ignorance rather than indifference), until I finally insisted on a referral to a psych I would pay for privately.
This is not okay.
My own mum took me to a GP countless times when as a teen. We were met with endless blood tests, expensive assessments, an incorrect mental health diagnosis, and complete dismissal.
This is not okay.
As an undiagnosed adult, I approached my GP for referrals for my own assessments, and was told I likely needed sun and extra calories.
This is not okay.
Neurodivergent people are being failed by the current system, as are their families, their teachers, their peers, and their communities. Failing to support neurodivergent people to fully understand their own wiring, fails to allow them to unlock their incredible skills, overcome their hurdles, and dodge the curveballs society throws their way. It fails to give their parents the ability to understand their child, and to have their own needs as parents understood and met. It means neurodivergent people often miss out on finding their place in the community and, even worse, the community misses out on incredibly valuable people who should be active members of society.
More Than Quirky is here to answer the questions and fill in the blanks that people might not even realise exist. I’m here to help steer you to where you need to be, and to make you see that neurodivergence is simply a difference. The process of confirming neurodivergence, and the reality of being neurodivergent, does not need to be as complicated and painful as it currently is.
It’s a magical way to exist once you can rein in the tricky bits!