Planning for Support in Education and Learning

Neurodivergent children are often children with a disability, particularly in the context of education and learning. While different countries (and even different states or counties within these countries) approach educating kids with disabilities in variety of ways, it is often not nearly as othering and negative as many perceive it to be. In fact, a lot of the time the negative experiences and outcomes are down to individual teachers or schools, not the system. That said, what “the system” says is the way to do things, and whether or not the relevant government bodies fund and resource these things can be disparate. But, if the government walks the talk, and schools (therefore can) genuinely follow the guidelines, your neurodivergent child has all kinds of options and support available to them through planning.

_{In this article, I will be referring to the NSW Education Department standards, as of February 2025. Obviously, these standards will not be standard nationally, let alone internationally, and are subject to change.}

The Positive Approach

When you look at the formal “additional needs at primary school” documentation about planning, the first thing that’s mentioned is not determining a diagnosis, assessing problems, predicting hurdles, risk analysis, etc. The first step when figuring out what your child needs at school involves the staff at their chosen school engaging to “discuss your child’s strengths, interests and areas of need with you”. That’s right. With you.

Planning is a collaborative, positive approach. It is not supposed to be a battle, where you are fighting for your child’s right to an education, and the school is pushing back with some of the dismissive lines I hear parents sharing quite regularly like, “Well, if we give that to your child, we’ll have to do it for everyone!”

How To Get Help

Whether your child is about to start school, is changing schools, or is currently at school and not thriving, the best first step is to phone the school and explain the situation. I strongly advise to approach with the collaborative mindset you’re hoping to receive. As a parent, it is so easy to adopt the mentality of being your child’s advocate in the form of a warrior or bodyguard; to assume that they/you are about to face invalidation and conflict, and to brace yourself accordingly. To a school, particularly to a teacher – who is, after all, also human – this can appear aggressive and demanding. And, rightly or wrongly, it is human nature to push back against this sort of behaviour, to keep it away from us. This can look like the school pushing back against the requests you’re trying to make.

So to achieve the collaborative planning that is technically on offer, step into this mindset. Be optimistic and excited. Be prepared to advocate and even educate regarding your child, but with a helpful and supportive approach.

Arrange a Meeting

Arrange to meet with whomever the school feels would be your best contact person. If you have a negative experience dealing with the person offered, politely request to meet with the Head of LST (Learning and Additional Support) and Assistant Principal related to your child’s Stage, either instead of the recommended person, or with them.

You don’t need to include your child in this meeting, and in most circumstances it can be best to meet without them to avoid damage to self-image and self-esteem. That said, I cannot suggest strongly enough that you engage them in the process as much as they are able. Before you meet with their school, ask your child:

What they’d like the school to know about them as a person (likes, dislikes, etc)
What they feel they would like help with, or done differently
What they love most and dislike most about school
What would change about school if they had a magic wand
If there’s anything they really don’t want to do differently to other children, if possible

Meeting with School

If you meet with school without preparing, you are likely:

To feel obliged to agree to their approach
To push back against anything that doesn’t sit comfortably with you, without a solution, and therefore have an unsatisfactory outcome
To think of things during and after the meeting, based on what is said, wasting a significant opportunity

Before you attend the meeting, you can prepare by:

Talking to your child (as above)
Ensuring you feel you can adequately describe your child in terms of interests, strengths, personality, behaviours, difficulties, presentation of their disability or differences… even if this means writing it down
Gathering (and even copying) any documents that might be relevant, such as reports or letters from doctors, allied health professionals, and therapists. It is perfectly okay to redact any information you don’t feel is relevant or accurate, if you feel it would be detrimental if incorporated into plans, provided you don’t later feel negatively that school was unaware of this information.
Any past academic assessments, such as preschool feedback, to Best Start reports, NAPLAN results, report cards, WIAT-III, etc
Existing documents outlining your child’s academic and support needs, such as WISC-V, previous school support plans, recommendations from allied health professionals, etc
Information – even anecdotal – you can share around:
- Literacy
- Numeracy
- Language and communication
- Emotional regulation/skills/behaviour
- Social behaviours and skills
- Physical and health care needs
- Past attendance, ability to attend (school can’t), attachment style
- Personal and cultural background
- What you / your child would love their education and accommodations to look like

After the Meeting

Based on what you’ve shared, their own internal conversations, and the resources and funding on hand, your school will assess:

What you’ve shared about your child, and your preferences for their education
What learning and support needs your child demonstrates
How your child’s presentation will impact upon other children**
The impact of past approaches on your child
What support options are available and likely to be beneficial

From this, the school will talk to you about how they would like to approach educating your child in an inclusive, supportive, and accommodating manner, and how they will be planning this formally.

**When, as parents or advocates, we read things like this, it can be a natural reflex to feel preemptively defensive.

What this refers to is whether other children are at any sort of risk, and how to ensure all children – including yours – are safe. Whether this is because a child’s behaviour when dysregulated can be violent, poor hygiene that puts teachers’ and students’ health at risk, stimming behaviours such as continuous loud ecolalia that would likely prevent other children from learning, or anything else that is detrimental to others, these factors need to be taken into account for the wellbeing of staff and students.

It is not about whether other kids will be jealous that your child has a weighted toy in their lap, or that they get to use an ipad instead of pencil and paper, or if it seems unfair to others that your child is allowed to take breaks during exams when other children can’t.

An example of how Collaborative Planning works, in this case for ES1 to S3. From: https://educationstandards.nsw.edu.au/wps/portal/nesa/k-10/diversity-in-learning/special-education/collaborative-curriculum-planning

To Plan or Not To Plan

If you have these meetings, the school will have some sort of plan in place for your child. Even if this is a little heads up in the form of a memo for their teacher, perhaps around a minor accommodation like ensuring they are always allowed to go to the toilet immediately whenever they ask. Perhaps something more detailed, noting needs that might not be clearly evident otherwise.

Whether or not you wish to request officially planning for you to sign off on for your child is largely your choice, though some schools can be inclined to encourage this more, for their own (usually very positive) reasons.

This form of planning is given all kinds of names including:

Personalised learning and support plan
Individual education plan (IEP)
Individual learning plan (ILP)

As a parent of a child who is considered to have moderate-to-high support needs, I have always been in the fortunate position where they are in an incredible educational setting… and I don’t request an IEP. I do, however, arrange to have a meeting each year with their teacher - sometimes including LST or AP - to discuss current interests and strengths, concerns and difficulties, and to share strategies and approaches we use in the home setting that would be familiar and useful if adopted at school should tricky moments occur. Not only does this mean I know they know, it means my child knows they’re informed and ready to offer support, and it forges that collaborative relationship. It means that when something isn’t going brilliantly, they know to shoot me a message, grab me in the playground, or give me a call, and that I’m going to be receptive to this.

It also means if I feel things aren’t going as well from their side as I’d hoped, I can raise this without it coming out of the blue or sounding like criticism.

I would be more inclined to use formal planning if my child had direct support such as an SLSO (School Learning and Support Officer) or school psychologist, was in a “special education unit” or taught separately from their mainstream peers, wasn’t thriving overall, was experiencing School Can’t frequently, had a dramatic change in academic results or wasn’t achieving outcomes for their stage without an clear reason, if I felt the school wasn’t meeting my child’s needs or fulfilling their own obligations, or I felt the collaboration needed to be cemented.

I know we are very lucky not to have encountered these issues, but I also firmly believe that this is because our school works incredibly hard to adhere to the excellent standards set out in the guidelines. This isn’t easy, and they work incredibly hard to find the funding and resources they need to achieve this, but I do think it serves to demonstrate that done well, the guidelines are not necessarily the problem in what feels like a very broken education system when it comes to our neurodivergent kiddos. Nor are the majority of school staff. However, the government supporting their own guidelines with funding and resourcing… well, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

What Goes Into Planning

We will delve into what should and should not go into an IEP another time.

For now, please know that an IEP is not, and should never be, guidelines for your child’s behaviour without reference to how they’ll be supported to achieve this (and definitely never encouraging masking or unrealistic ideals). It should not be setting expectations for academic outcomes that they need to try to reach. That’s not to say these things cannot be mentioned in the meetings, and incorporated into the IEP appropriately. But an IEP is about what the school is going to do to support your child, not what your child is going to do; it is about what the goals are for your child to achieve.

An IEP should, in essence, communicate:

Hello. This is [NAME]. This is what is awesome about [NAME]. This is what [NAME] finds difficult, and this is why. This is what we [school] are going to do to support [NAME] so that those hurdles are cleared or avoided as much as possible. Our expectation is for [NAME] to be authentic, to keep themselves and others safe, and to try their best – with the acknowledgement that this might look very different on different days. Our commitment is to be consistent, supportive, accommodating, and advocating, to allow [NAME] to access the curriculum as readily as their peers, and to achieve the best outcomes they are capable of achieving. This is what we need from you [parent] and [NAME] so we can work on this as a team. We are going to catch up regularly to check in, and keep this accurate and active. Let’s do this!

It’s A Lot

Supporting your child through at school, getting your child’s needs met, and figuring out what is and isn’t possible can be really overwhelming. It can feel like an impossible task at times. And, unfortunately, some schools or teachers will make it pretty much impossible! But your child deserves to receive the best education they are capable of utilising, and to be supported to thrive.

If you’d like advice, guidance, support, or even someone to attend these meetings with you, please get in touch with More Than Quirky. I’m in your corner, always.